I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
