I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
