one word: firstdatebathroomanal
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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