hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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