I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
