Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
