I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
