No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
