I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You were trust falling into bushes
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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