She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
