so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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