I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
