I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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