I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you would pick up someone in the library
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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