You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
