My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
