Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
