How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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