Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
