It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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