Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
