saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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