Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
