NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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