so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize