I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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