It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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