seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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