He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
