their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
