Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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