Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
