it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
