We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
