Non-Jews are for practice
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
