I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
