It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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