Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
