just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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