I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize