I heard we made out
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
