The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
