it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The Olympian is in my bed
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
