I bet he comes in French.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
