Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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