do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
