$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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