i don't plan on having that self control this summer
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
