He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
