I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
