nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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