Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We got so high we made milksteak
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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