why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
