He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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