He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
