Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
