oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
