I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
