one might say we're banned from that church
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
