i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
